6 Ways To Make Friends When You’re A Working Woman
Having friends is so important for women. We aren’t meant to live life on our own. Not only does it feel good to have women around us that know what we’re going through, it keeps us centered.
When our emotional and social needs are met by other women, we don’t put so much pressure on our partners to be everything for us, or notice how much he can’t meet those specific needs.
This female energy validates us and supports us in the innate ways that only women can offer. But many times, work and the responsibilities of life get in the way of friendships or make it difficult to find women you connect with.
So if you’re in need of friends, here’s 6 ways to make it happen!
Become the friend you wish you had.
Almost every woman I work with struggles with not having enough friends in her life. She realises the lack in her life when she has no one to do those fun things with or would just like a best friend to lean on and enjoy being with.
As I get to know these women, I see how absolutely incredible they are. They’re sweet and funny and kind and I’m always thinking to myself- how don’t they have any friends?
Then I realize this- they aren’t being the friend they wish they had! There expectations are really high on who they want in their life, but they don’t consider if they themselves are at that high level of being a friend.
So consider this- are you the kind of friend you’d like to have?
If the answer is no - then you need to do better. Even if you don’t currently have any friends, you can be considerate to your neighbors, ask your coworkers about their lives and offering support, goes a long way.
These little actions of social etiquette help you not only be a better human, but allow others to connect with you and see how absolutely incredible you are.
Then you’re likely to get some new friends!
2. Smile More!
Resting Bitch Face is real. And if you’re plagued with it- then you need to make more of an effort to not look like someone just shat in your coffee.
This has happened to me so much when I worked in an office. There would be someone I hadn’t met yet and she’d have RBF and I would literally avoid her at all costs.
And when I could no longer avoid her - she’d smile at me and would be SUPER effin sweet! I realized then how much I was duped by her aggressive facial structure and was missing out on this awesome human all along.
Don’t let people miss out on your awesomeness. Don’t let them think you’re a nasty B.
Smile immediately when you see someone. Even if you just saw them a minute ago. It’s nice, it makes people feel good and it makes them more likely to talk to you and maybe become your friend!
3. Be Present.
Girl, if you want friends- you gotta start living in the moment.
When you just put your head down and get shit done, you’re missing out on a lot. And mainly friendly opportunities. We are so consumed with what we’ve got going on, we don’t look outside of ourselves.
When we’re just trying to get through this school function for our kid or multitask at the park making work phone calls and sending emails, we are missing chances to be present and see who else might be looking for a new friend.
If every woman I work with wants more friends - that has to mean that when you are around another woman she is likely interested in being your friend (at least this is my theory and I haven’t been proven wrong yet!)
Look around, smile, enjoy yourself in whatever moment you’re in and damn it! - Go say hi!
4. Reconnect & Mend The Past
Some friendships we outgrow and some we just plain neglect. So think about your past friendships and see where you’re part was that it was lost.
If some toxic crap happened- yeah leave that one behind. But if you literally can’t remember what happened or you just realize life got busy- those are the people to call or text or send a dm to! Life will definitely look different now and maybe you won’t want to continue a friendship after reconnecting, but maybe you’ll also pick up where you left behind.
This one takes some courage and my suggestion is to always go structured.
Don’t invite her to your home or invite yourself to hers. Just ask if she wants to go to a quick lunch during your work hour or take the kids to a community event (kids are the best wingmen).
This way you can easily blame a kid if you just can’t stand being there any longer or you know you’ve only got an hour to test the waters.
5. Look what’s going on inside that’s keeping you disconnected.
Anxiety & Depression are real. And sometimes no matter how badly we want friends and we want to reconnect with someone or even accept an invitation, we can’t!
We are so crippled with anxiety or a lack of motivation that going out and being around other people feels like absolute torture. If you relate to this in any way, you gotta get some professional support.
I mean this sincerely because again- women are not meant to live life on our own. We don’t do best as solitary beings. We need other women to validate our thoughts and feelings and to pump us up when we’re feeling down on ourselves.
And if anxiety and depression are keeping you from getting these essential needs met, then work needs to be done.
Anxiety and depression are symptoms. They have a root cause. Why do you have anxiety? Why do you have depression? What’s going on now or in the past that has you feeling so bad?
And if you don’t even know why- that’s okay! Seek help from someone who can help you figure it out and climb out of that hole. Your friends are waiting!
6. Make Work Friends.
Whether you work in an office or are like me and work out of your home- you can always make work friends. It might take a little more effort for you remote workers, but it can be done!
First, think about who you work with that you enjoy seeing everyday. Even if it’s just a passing hey in the breakroom or over an email exchange.
Now- find some kind of way to engage them in a deeper conversation.
Maybe invite on a lunch walk - “hey, i’m going to take a 15 minute walk at lunch if you want to join?”
Maybe ask their opinion on something at work and as the conversation happens, ask them some questions about themselves - “sounds like you’ve got some good experience. Where did you work before here?” Then just keep asking questions and add some things about yourself that connect with them.
These little efforts lead to a “hey-you want to catch dinner or drinks after work on friday (and you ask on tuesday)? I can already feel I’m going to need it lol. And when they say “ummm heck yes!” You can ask if there’s anyone else from the office you guys should invite?
Maybe you’ll make a bunch of new work friends that are now becoming out of work friend!
Being an adult and making friends ain’t as easy as it used to be when you just ran up to someone and asked if they wanted to play. But it can and is being done!
So be brave, smile more, and go say hi!
