What Should I Expect From EMDR Therapy?
You’ve probably heard some incredible things about EMDR therapy that make you want to try it out and see if it will work for you. But you probably also have heard some bad things about EMDR and are a little skeptical of those rave reviews you heard. So I’m going to break down the most common things you can expect from EMDR.
You can expect to move through your day with more ease.
When we release trauma that has weighed us down for so long, moving about your day without all that cluttering your thoughts and decisions is absolutely incredible. Your brain will no longer have to be thinking about all the threats that might pop out at you or all the actions your taking that might make you look stupid to others. You and your brain just get to go with the flow and if something happens that makes you feel that way, you can deal with it then, instead of preparing the whole time for it to happen and already ruining your day.
You can expect greater awareness and insight about yourself and others.
Maladaptive information is either an unhealthy perspective you have of yourself or others or the world around you that is rooted in past traumatic experiences. With EMDR, we help you see how your thinking is skewed and how your present is being manipulated by your past. Through reprocessing, you’re able to understand why you do certain things or self-sabotauge or date the same kinds of people even when you “know better.” You’ll better understand the why of the actions and choices of those around you. This awareness and insight helps you change your future, clear generational trauma and guide others to their better self.
You can expect to be less reactive and slower to engage in old behaviors.
When your brain is cluttered with trauma a.k.a maladaptive memories and information, this slows down our processing speed and puts us into our defensive state (fight, flight, freeze, & submit) and we become dys-regulated. With EMDR, our brains become more regulated and healed, allowing you time to think before you react and slower to just do what you used to do. That little bit of space allows for incredible changes to happen.
You can expect to feel more grounded and present in yourself.
Dissociation is a common side effect of trauma. It’s when your brain becomes too overwhelmed with present events or a dys-regulated nervous system (referenced above) from past events, and it shuts down some parts to prioritize others. It goes into survival mode and our frontal lobe or logical part of our brain shuts down and this causes dissociation. The more we regulate and heal our brain, the less need for dissociation. The less dissociation, the more grounded and present you’ll feel in your body, in time and space, and in your experiences.
You can expect to experience more joy and connection in your relationships.
The more maladaptive information our brain has to work with, the harder it is to trust and connect with others. “Our closest people hurt us or didn’t keep us safe, so why would this person be any different,” says our brain. We also interpret the things others say or do to mean certain things that might not align with reality, but do align with our maladaptive information and beliefs. So when we heal these beliefs and transform maladaptive information into adaptive information, we can see those around us for who they really are. This can mean separating from those who aren’t that great for us, and it can also mean becoming closer and experiencing love and joy in our relationships that is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
You can expect to feel less guilt and shame.
If you actually did something wrong, guilt is a great deterrant to doing that thing again. Without guilt we might hurt someone or do something wrong repeatedly. Guilt is also associated with the action or choice we made and we have the opportunity to change that. With shame, we’re stuck with it because it implies there is something innately broken, wrong, or bad about us and that’s permanent. Using EMDR, we’re able to release the guilt and see that we have learned from our mistakes and will make different choices in the future. EMDR also helps us develop empathy for ourselves and stop judging ourselves so harshly. We can stop taking all the blame and continuing that story of “it’s just me, i’m the problem, if I was _____, everyone would be better off or life wouldn’t look like this.” We will see that we were also victims of circumstances and that we are not alone in those thoughts or experiences- so it can’t just be us.
You can expect to have a clearer understanding of your life’s direction and purpose.
When less is pulling you down or making you constantly look back, there’s so much more opportunity to look forward and see where we’re going. Direct the path even. Instead of just surviving through the day, you’ll start to plan it and find ways to experience it more. You’ll set goals and future plans and believe that they can actually happen for you. You’ll begin to see yourself in this world as valuable and purposeful and making an impact, just because you’re here and a part of it.
You can expect to feel lighter and more free.
Less is more. Less crap cluttering your brain, more space to enjoy all that life has to offer.
You can expect more creative thoughts and ideas.
Again- less is more! The more space you have to think and not be concerned about the past or what people think about you or if you do something wrong, the more space for creative energy to grow and with creative energy comes new thoughts and ideas and possibilities. We need your creative energy so make space with EMDR!
You can expect to be more productive.
All three of these feel repetitive- so here I go again- less is more! Less clutter= more brain power to get stuff done, hit those goals, grow your business, or do whatever it is that you want to do!
You can expect to want to improve every area of your life.
EMDR is quite addictive when you get past the beginning bulk of clutter that hijacks your brain. The better you feel the more you want to feel that way in all areas of your life. You’ll see every area of your life as an opportunity to improve and get better. When once you couldn’t even fathom addressing every problem, now you can’t wait to tend to them because you know how sweet life can be.
You can expect to truly understand your worth and value.
Through EMDR, you’ll go through an evolution of your worth and value. Starting with actually feeling some, then identifying how you add value to those around you and then it evolves further. This deep realization that you are ultimately worthy and valuable. Period. Not because of what you do or the role you play to others or look a certain way. You just are. And that my friends is gold and a truly incredible place to be at with yourself.
You can expect others to notice.
I really push for not needing external validation, but you will be shining so brightly that people will notice. They’re going to see that you’re different and that you behave unlike your old self. Your easier going, more present, fun to be around even! And some people aren’t going to like the new you, but that’s okay, because you’ll like you. And you’ll know you don’t need anyone else to notice or validate or reinforce what you already know as truth.
You’ll just feel good.
Last, but definitely not least, you’re gonna feel good. Can you imagine just feeling good, like most of time? Waking up and feeling good. Going to work and feeling good. Doing all those mundane tasks that we all have to do and feeling good!!! You’re gonna feel good and life will be good.